Year at a glance

It's been so long since I've posted that I feel a little out of practice. I haven't lost my love for writing, but I have lacked the time and motivation to keep at it. Hence the 2 year hiatus. The end of a year always has me feeling reflective so I thought I'd come back to put my thoughts on paper. And was 2020 a year or what?

The beginning of 2020 was a difficult one as my mom was in the midst of chemo treatments for cancer. The emotional aspect of cancer, regardless of being the patient or a family member, is one that isn't readily mentioned. We were so grateful for the support of family, friends and our church family as well. 

As she finished up treatments, we entered the Covid pandemic and lockdown for 3 months. There were both challenges and blessings to being home all the time. We had a lot of family time with our children and made a lot of memories. At the same time, we missed people. So many face to face interactions that you take for granted until you are without them. 

With the extra home time, I became creative in using up food from our freezer and pantry. I did some spring house cleaning (which still needs finished, haha!) We played more games and also did more campfires in the backyard. We rejoiced in the birth of another niece and we also supported friends who had to make many adaptions to their wedding day.

The summer brought a sense of normalcy with a few more outings and warm weather. We were so thankful for the opportunity to get outside and enjoy the sunshine and beautiful sights of summer. 

Beautiful Watkins Glen State Park, N.Y.- an anniversary weekend getaway

The end of summer brought another cancer diagnosis of a dear friend, which was so disheartening. It's so hard to understand God's ways sometimes, but I continue to trust that God will use her journey for His glory. As I was processing all of this, I learned of the sudden death of a former friend and coworker. I had seen her over the summer and had a brief final conversation with her. 

The fall brought the beginning of preschool for our daughter and that has been a joy in the midst of a chaotic year. How exciting to see children learning and enjoying the process with classmates and a wonderful teacher. Thanksgiving and Christmas were full of reasons to rejoice and choose thankfulness for our many blessings.

This year has been full of tears and heartache as I've journeyed with friends and family through very difficult circumstances and situations. I'm so thankful to serve a God who is sovereign in all seasons. Early in the year I came across this quote-

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As we look ahead to a new year, may we continue to cling onto Jesus and look to Him to lead us through the unknown. He will never fail us.

2018 Reading List

I'm not sure I've ever created a yearly book list, but I thought this is the year to try it! Here's what I am hoping to read-

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Christian Living-
-Daring to Hope by Katie Davis Majors
-The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness: The Path to True Christian Joy by Timothy Keller
-Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller
-Multiply: Disciples Making Disciples by Francis Chan
-Present over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living by Shauna Niequist *

Parenting-
-Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp
-Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe by Sarah Mae & Sally Clarkson*
-There's an Easier Way:21 Ways to Lovingly Raise Your Children Without Regrets by Bonni Greiner and Kathy McClure
-Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World: How One Family Learned That Saying No Can Lead to Life's Biggest Yes by Kristen Welch

Miscellaneous-
-Having a Martha Home the Mary Way: 31 Days to a Clean House and a Satisfied Soul by Sarah Mae
-Longing for Paris: one woman's search for joy, beauty and adventure-right where she is by Sarah Mae*
-Present over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living by Shauna Niequist

Ministry Related-
-Boundaries: When to say Yes, How to say No to take control of your life by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
-Formational Children's Ministry: Shaping children using story, ritual and relationship by Ivy Beckwith
-Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely by Lysa TerKeurst

If you enjoy reading, I'd love to hear some book recommendations. What are you reading this year?

Living with Intention

With a new year comes another opportunity for growth and learning. About a month ago, I felt God laying a word on my heart to focus on in the year ahead.

Intention. Defined several ways- determination to act in a certain way: resolve. What one intends to do or bring about. The thing that you plan to do or achieve: an aim or purpose.

Photo Credit: my brother, Justin Brenneman

As I've reflected on this the past few days, I've focused on 3 areas in which I feel led to be intentional this year.

#1- Living with intention. This sounds so cliché, but I want to live in gratefulness for each new day that I am given. Being filled with joy for what God has done for me and allow that joy to spill out to those around me. Taking time to play with my daughter or converse with my neighbor because they matter.

#2- Loving with intention. I have sensed that I need to grow in the area of loving those I don't know well including strangers. It is far too easy to cast judgements based on outward appearances, but that's not what God requires of me. He requires me to "do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God." (Micah 6:8b, ESV) As I walk humbly with my God, I should have a desire to love those around me.

#3- Serving with intention. What does this look like for me this year? To be honest, I'm not entirely sure yet. Getting to know our neighbors better and those in our community. Meeting the needs of the hurting, whether it be through a listening ear, a word of encouragement or through a meal.There are many possibilities to serve and be a blessing.

Photo Credit: Justin Brenneman

Of course, I also desire to be intentional in several other areas such as doing more reading (stay tuned for an upcoming post with my book list for the year) and more frequent exercise (because it won't happen just by talking about it!) I am excited to see how I will grow from all of these intentions in the year ahead.

If you have a word or personal focus for the year ahead, I'd love to hear it. Blessings as you seek to learn and grow in a deeper way.

Life distractions

Something happened the other day that made me frustrated. While out for a walk with my daughter, my phone fell out of the stroller, screen side down. When I picked it up on the pavement, there were cracks all over the screen. I sighed in frustration. Then I realized that what I viewed as an inconvenience was possibly God's way of getting my attention. How little time I've been spending with Him lately and how much of my time I have been giving away to other things.

Distraction- "a thing that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else." 

Corrie Ten Boom once said, "If the devil cannot make us bad, he will make us busy." How true that is. There are so many things in life that cause busyness. Often times they can be good things, but when they consume us or take us away from Jesus, there's a problem. If I'm honest, one of my struggles is social media. It's a great way to connect with friends and family members. But when the temptation to check it frequently throughout the day takes me away from time with my family or Jesus, I need to admit that it has become a distraction and take steps to change my habits.

I posted here about my word of the year and desire to cherish moments and people each day. When life's distractions get in the way of that, I need to do a heart check and assess my motives. My daughter is growing so quickly and these days I'm savoring when her head rests on my shoulder when she's sleepy and when her little fingers explore my face. I also love how she gets silly when she's sleepy, just like me. :) I don't want to miss these moments simply because I'm checking the latest news on Facebook.

Mother's Day

This verse was in my devotional the other morning- "My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare." Psalm 25:15. I thought it was so fitting for this topic. Snares can take many forms and it's always good to be mindful of them in our lives. When we recognize them, we can take action. 

I found this article to be so good and so challenging to me personally. Hope it speaks to your heart as well today. 

A Season to Savor

Word of the year. To some, it may sound like a popular trend, but to me, it has proven to be a worthwhile challenge. As I was reflecting on the year ahead of me in 2017, the word savor came to my mind and I somehow knew it was my word.

Savor: a particular flavor, smell or taste of something; a distinctive quality.

Although savor seems to be mainly associated with food, I'd like to focus on the second half of the definition. This year, I desire to savor people- strengthen relationships and friendships. In 2016, I was especially reminded of the frailty of life when my dear friend's father passed away suddenly at a fairly young age. I want to live in the moment and enjoy those near to my heart. We are never guaranteed tomorrow. Each day is a gift from our Creator and I want to make the most of the days He gives to me.

I also desire to savor moments this year. Even when my dear baby wakes up crying in the middle of the night, I strive to choose joy amidst my grogginess. Joy that I have a healthy daughter who is able to wake me and that I am able to bring comfort to her when she needs it. I know she will grow quickly so I am doing my best to enjoy all of the little moments of snuggling with her when she's napping and also playing with her rather than tackling things on my to-do list. The moments of watching my husband play with his little girl or moments of taking time to talk with a friend so we can both be encouraged. This all takes an intentional effort.

Memories are another thing that I hope to savor in 2017. This week my daughter rolled for the first time. So much excitement as we relish all of these milestones! Watching her grandparents and aunts/uncles enjoy her so much is another joy. Taking pictures helps to keep memories fresh, but I also feel like Mary some days-"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." (Luke 2:19)

I love this picture of storing up memories and moments and hope to do a lot of it this year.

I'm going to close with the following challenge-

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In 2017, may you savor people (relationships and friendships), savor the little and big moments in life, and savor memories deep within your heart.

[If you have chosen a word of the year, I'd love to hear it!]

All about Trust

It's been awhile. I guess that's what happens when you have a baby. {Now 4 months ago!}

Our sweet little Moriah Joy arrived on August 27th, a few days earlier than we were expecting, but that was fine by me!

Moriah- "God is my teacher"

Psalm 32:8- 

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; 

I will counsel you and watch over you." 

Here is one of my favorite shots from her newborn pictures, taken by my talented brother.

I have learned a lot over the past few months, both about mothering and about myself. You realize how selfish you can be when you have a little person who requires so much of your time and energy. There isn't time for little luxuries and quiet moments of solitude, unless of course, you have a good napper. I don't. :)

Mostly God has taught me much about trust. It seems to be one of those things that you continuously learn, no matter what stage of life you are in. When I was induced, I had to trust things would turn out well, even though it wasn't my ideal scenario. When our little lady was slow in gaining weight, I had to trust that God was in control. When I ended up in the hospital again a week after her birth, I had to trust God's purposes in that experience. When the house was dirty and messy and dishes and laundry were piled up, I had to let go of my perfectionism and expectations. (I still do.) Babies don't stay little forever so I've been trying to be intentional about enjoying moments with her when she's awake. The work can wait.

As I reflect on this past year, it has included many life changes. As one who has always struggled with change, I find myself thankful for each one. There is something about change that causes us to look inwardly to identify why we feel what we feel. Perhaps that's why I always feel so reflective this time of the year as I look at areas where I have grown over the past year and areas where I'd like to be stretched in the upcoming year. I'm so grateful that our heavenly Father is with us every step of the way.

How have you grown this past year? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Dream Big

Have you ever faced a season in life in which you are called to create a new normal?

That's where I currently find myself. Last week, I said goodbye to my co-workers at my part-time market job. Although I was only there for one year, I established some good friendships and will miss those whom I grew to love during my time there. They were so kind as to throw me a little baby shower/goodbye party complete with balloons, gifts and yummy food.

Now my days are spent at home prepping for baby's arrival in four short weeks. I can't believe it is almost here already! As I think about what my new normal will entail, there are many thoughts that come to my mind. In my new role as a full-time homemaker (at least for the time being), my calling is to create a haven of joy, love and rest for my little family. Sure sounds like a high-calling, doesn't it? To those of you who do this on a daily basis, I bless you for serving your family in this capacity. It may seem mundane to some, but it's a vital role that God has called you to for such a time as this. Embrace it. Enjoy the little moments. Look forward to what God has in store for your future.

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I look forward to fulfilling this calling in my own life, but will admit that sometimes I wonder if I'll be content doing the 'keeper of the home' thing. Will it present enough of challenges for me? Will I be satisfied? But then as I thought about this, I realized God is also calling me to anticipate this new experience and dream big. "Dream big? I don't even know how to dream little, God." I've never been one to do a lot of dreaming. Yet somehow, the thought of dreaming even a little brings excitement to my heart. How can I use my God-given gifts, skills and strengths to bless others? I'm not sure I have the answers yet, but I'm anticipating what God will reveal to me as I seek His heart for my future. My encouragement to you, regardless of the season of life in which you find yourself, is to dream. Dream big, dream little. Just dream. Seek the Father's heart in how He wants to use you and in doing so, He'll bless you in ways you can only imagine.